Time FLIES

Posted on April 25, 2012 by Nicole

A couple weeks ago Ellie turned 3. We made it past the terribles. Of course, my friend Kirsten says that three is just two with intent. So, y’know not out of the woods yet. And that’s good because really every day with Ellie gets better. Mostly. Sure there’s the occasional (daily) fit about which clothes to wear. But then, I do the same thing. That makes it sound like she learned it from me, but she definitely didn’t. It’s innate – just part of the ole double X chromosome pairing. Science, people.

What I loved about two was being able to have real conversations with her. It’s harder with babies. You never know exactly what they’re thinking and so you get all self conscious that they’re silently judging you, which of course they totally are. Ellie still does a lot of judging with strangers, but with us she never shuts up and I genuinely love it. She cracks me up and I want to remember every cute thing she ever says. But then I get sad because I remember that I have a horrible memory. So I decided to start an annual birthday interview. I say annual, but more likely it will be a one time thing. Bad memory and all.

Here’s the transcript from the 2012 interview:

How old are you? (Holds up 3 fingers, with a look like “doy mom”)
What is your favorite color? My favorite color red.

Ok side note here – this is one of the things I adore about Ellie. In a world of pink and purple, she loves red. I love the non-conformity of it. And I love how she calls it “my-favorite-color-red.” She likes knowing other people’s favorite colors too. She can tell you that her aunts like purple, green and yellow, respectively. And that I like blue and Mike likes orange. Yep, orange. How embarrassing.

Back to the interview.

Who’s your best friend? Rylee
What’s your favorite animal? Cow and horse and sheeps
What would you like to be when you grow up? Bumblebee or ladybug
What’s your favorite sport? Skateboard
What is your favorite song? Icky Bicky Bumblebee and Baby Beluga
What’s your favorite book? Fancy Nancy
What’s your favorite game? Play songs and candy canes

(I think she means Candy Land, but she does love candy canes. Funny story, after this interview we played Candy Land. She makes up her own rules. This time she lined up the men, Red, Yellow and Blue and then approached each with Green and said “I love you *mwaa* *mwaa*” to each one. And then went back through the line one more time and knocked each one down. Like Tony Soprano.)

What makes you happy? A smiley dog
What makes you sad? I’m sad of the fly
What makes you scared? The fly and spiders
What makes you angry? The fly

There was a fly in the house the other day. She really didn’t like that. In an effort to avoid summoning any post traumatic stress, I quickly ended the interview with the following two questions:

What do you get if you eat too much candy? A tummy egg.
What do you take to the beach? A babysuit and sun-scream

I hope I can remember to do this again next year. And I hope by then the phobia of flies is gone, because as phobias go, that’s a pretty disappointing one. Of course I don’t want my child to be fearful of anything, but if she’s going to, I would hope that it would be something helpful in keeping her safe. Like heights, or fire…or adults that wear crocs in public.

We’ve got a year to work on it.

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Dumb-OH!

Posted on April 5, 2012 by Nicole

The Dumbo ride is a Disney classic. One I remember from going to Disney World when I was a kid. So, despite the extremely long line, I insisted that Ellie had to ride it just once.

We approached the ride at the same time as a scowling family of four. I thought I heard them saying that the ride was closed. But when I asked, the grumbly dad said, “What? Oh no…it’s open, go ahead.” And then he mumbled, somewhat embarrassed, “I said hosed.”

From that short exchange I decided I did not like him. Ellie and I got in line and after another minute or two of quietly arguing, the family of malcontents followed.

10 minutes go by and I’m trying to figure out exactly how long this wait is by dividing the number of elephants going ’round and ’round by the estimated number of people ahead of me factoring in approximate flight times. This takes a lot of concentration because I am terrible at estimating and worse at division. Just then, I’m startled by the awful “hosed” guy saying right into my ear, clear as day, “Dumbo LOVES penis.”

Suddenly alert, I stood frozen in shock for a full minute before slowly turning around to, I don’t know what. Give him a mean look, I guess. But when I did, I noticed that he wasn’t talking to me at all. He had been talking to his 6 year old son. This was going to be a long 437 minutes (estimated).

I pulled Ellie close and tried to think of what to do. I thought about texting Mike, but I knew he would make me get out of line if he thought we were standing next to and alleged beastialistic pervert. And really, we had already been in line so long. I wasn’t giving up. So I did my best to put it out of my mind, which was surprisingly easy. I never was good at holding grudges

10 more minutes go by and Ellie is asking me about something on the ground.

I look down and notice tiny carvings in sidewalk. Disney is all about the little details. I just love that. I bent down to take a closer look.

“That’s a peanut, sweetie,” I say. ”Dumbo loves…”

Peanuts.

Of course.

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People of Disney

Posted on April 3, 2012 by Nicole

I write this post with no judgement or disrespect whatsoever. I want to clarify that upfront. I find that amusement parks in general attract an interesting clientele and Disney World is no exception.

Overall people were dressed in casual shorts and t-shirts with sneakers and some fanny packs. Disney World will never be on the cutting edge of fashion. It’s just not practical in the heat and humidity when you are logging 10+ miles a day with kids in tow. Some things did stick out to me though.

Such as the white people. There are a lot of them. There is a book called “Stuff White People Like.” I’ve never read it, but I guarantee Disney World is in there. You have to ride It’s a Small World to get any diversity and even then, the dolls all look like some version of this:

Viva Italia

But the costumes and scenery are amazingly detailed and beautiful and they are singing in different languages. And not a single doll is wearing a pair of khaki shorts. You exit the ride and feel all warm and fuzzy as you rejoin the sea of whiteys.

Another thing that stood out were all of the princesses. No, not the employees paid to dress up as Snow White or Cinderella. These were tiny little princesses running around with lipstick and glittery up-dos. The park was crawling with them. And I have to say I kind of loved it. When done right. These girls visited the Bippy Boppity Boutique for hair and make up and many came out looking like this adorable girl.

Hair pulled up into a simple bun, a little subtle makeup, some glitter hairspray and just the right amount of rhinestones to keep it classy. But then there were the other types of princesses who looked more like drag queens than Sleeping Beauty. These girls not only went heavy on the makeup but also on the face tattoos and colorful hair extensions you might find at Claire’s in the mall. Here’s a picture from Disney’s Boutique webiste

Pretty girl, horribly awful fake hair. If they are going the drag route (which would be awesome), they should really get Rupaul in there to teach the stylists how it’s done. And also to inform all of the kids that no self respecting drag queen (or princess) would wear sneakers with a ball gown.

The last thing I want to discuss is the kids on leashes thing. Again, no judgement. I have no problem with people leashing their children. Disney World is crowded, and for a lot of people this is the safe, responsible option for them. My own niece was on a leash on her family trip to see Mickey back in the day. It’s cool. However, the leashes of today are different. They are cute fuzzy animals that look like a backpack. I saw one where the leash part was supposed to be the monkey backpack’s tail. It’s a brilliant idea really and I wish I had thought of it, but deep down, I feel that if you are going to put your child on a leash you should own it. Don’t hide behind the pretense of a cuddly kangaroo or kitty cat. Snap on the plain old beige leash and hold your head high. You are keeping your little darling out of harm’s way. Be proud. And also, consider a muzzle if yours is a howler.

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Disney Friday

Posted on March 30, 2012 by Nicole

Last week I was with the family in Disney World. I have great stories and had planned to make this week Disney Week but then I got lazy and the week got away from me. So, now it’s Disney Friday. I’ll start with an overview.

We stayed at the Wildnerness Lodge. A giant log cabin with rocking chairs and a little stream inside with a bridge over it. For the first 36 hours in Orlando, Ellie kept saying her favorite part of the trip was throwing coins into the stream. Next year we will take our family vacation to the Embassy Suites down the street for an afternoon. Obviously. Continue reading →

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Reading Rainbow

Posted on March 6, 2012 by Nicole

It’s the beginning of March and I just started my 9th book of 2012. Not to brag or anything (obviously, because bragging about reading is super dorky), but it is a record for me. I love to read, but in previous years have never been able to find the time, so I would pack as much reading as possible into our yearly vacation to the beach. I would sit alone in the surf or huddled on the deck and go on a massive book binge. But this year is different.

Two things changed:

I started reading during TV time at night. This was also beneficial to my marriage. I no longer had to listen to Mike declare that he was “not going to sit around and watch these idiots” as he changed the channel from the Real Housewives and turned to those brainiacs over on Storage Wars.
I got a Kindle.

The Kindle was the greatest Valentine’s Day gift of my life. I wasn’t sure if I would like it. I thought I might miss turning pages, but after a week of using the kindle, I tried to switch back to the old school way of reading and found myself resenting all of the energy expended turning page after page after page only to put the book down and realize I’d forgotten to mark where I left off.

And then there’s the convenience. With the Kindle app for iPhone I can read anywhere: waiting rooms, in line at the grocery store, on my drive to work in the morning…anywhere.

So now I’m completely addicted. All I want to do is read. And so since I’m reading so much, I haven’t had much time to write, but I tell myself it’s ok because it’s like doing research. I’m sure my writing will be much better because of it. Especially if I write about the circus in the 30′s. Or Tina Fey*.

If you have any book recommendations, I’d love to hear them. I like all genres except depressing. My close friends are familiar with my refusal to read or watch anything I suspect will be too sad. So one time, my friend Tara suggested that I watch About a Boy. She insisted that I would love it and that it wasn’t really sad, but warned, “I just want you to know, the mom dies.”

I loved that movie. But the mom doesn’t die. The entire time, I’m preparing myself for the inevitable moment of sadness, and that woman lived the entire 2 hours. I mentioned this fact to Tara the next day. ”Really? She doesn’t?” she asked genuinely surprised. ”I definitely thought she died. Weird. Anyway, I told you it wasn’t sad.”

So, if you haven’t seen About a Boy, rent it. It’s funny and the mom doesn’t die. And if you have any book (or movie) recommendations for me leave a comment or message me.

And go buy a Kindle. You’ll never need a bookmark again.

*Water for Elephants and Bossypants are both great books. But a warning: the elephant book is sort of sad and depressing throughout, but ends happy.

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It's Shoes to Me